To all the readers of my blog I would like to say "Thank You" for taking the
time to read my posts. Last week, in the early morning hours of January 21st,
I woke up around 2:00 am in the morning with a need to use the bathroom.
As I climbed out of bed I nearly fell over on the floor. My right leg from
the knee down was numb and I could hardly walk. I thought at first that
I had put undue pressure on my leg while asleep or pinched a nerve.
When I attempted to stamp my foot to bring feeling back into my leg
I almost fell over and had to hold onto the wall for balance. I made it back
to bed, however, a growing sense of anxiety told me something was wrong.
I called out to my oldest son, Daniel, who came to see what was the matter.
I told him I thought I might be having a stroke. He was a bit skeptical and
pulled up the general symptoms of a stroke on his phone.
"You can talk to me and your face is not drawn out of shape," he said.
I think you are probably just stressed or overtired."
I told him that people have mistaken dizzy spells for strokes and not to
rule out the possibility. I soon fell back into an uneasy sleep. I woke again
around 6:00 am to feed my pet cat, Cairo. I was still feeling unbalanced.
I decided a shower might help, but, afterwards, I felt no change.
I was becoming increasingly unsteady on my feet.
After I showered and dressed, I went into the kitchen, made a fresh pot of
coffee and sat down at the table to write in my daily journal. I watched as my hand
produced writing resembling chicken scratch. I was alarmed by this and thought
may be my blood sugar was low. I decided to make some Cream of Wheat
for breakfast and ended up spilling most of it on the counter top and the floor.
I did make my breakfast and sat down to eat. Afterwards, when I went to put
my empty bowl in the sink, without warning, the bowl suddenly slipped from my
right hand and smashed all over the kitchen floor.
My son Daniel came hurrying into the kitchen.
"We're going to the hospital," he announced.
And so, we went to the hospital emergency room. After examining me, the
ER doctor told me that I was "going upstairs" meaning I was going to be admitted
into the hospital for more tests. Two Cat Scans initially revealed nothing, but,
an MRI of my head later confirmed that I had suffered what is known as
a transient ischemic attack, which used to be called, " a mini-stroke".
Although I suffered weakness on my right side, which earned me the wrist
bracelet with the words, "Fall Risk" and spent the night and part of my 62nd
birthday (January 22nd) in the hospital, I am now recovering at home.
My handwriting is still scratchy but legible and I have to remember to
pick up things-like a cup full of hot coffee- with my left hand instead
of my right- which I favor because I am right-handed. I am also
weak and occasionally clumsy walking around the house.
However, I know that with rest and time and the new regimen of diet and insulin
I will be okay again. I also know that God was with me throughout this ordeal
and that my times are in His hands. I know too I was neglecting my health
issues-high blood sugar due to Type II Diabetes- mainly due to anger and
rebellion, as well as an attitude of self-pity. I take full responsibility for
what happened to me last week.
This unexpected incident has also brought me closer to God in a new and different way.
I was suppose to go out for a long-planned special lunch on my birthday. As I lay in a
hospital bed on my birthday I thought, Who prompted me to think I could be having
a stroke that morning? What if I had gone out to lunch and had the stroke? What if
my son had remained unconvinced of the urgency to get me to the hospital
emergency room instead of taking charge of the situation like he did?
Things might have ended up differently. But God already
knew what was going to happen that morning.
"He only is my Rock and my Salvation."
(Psalm 62:2)
Fixed upon God as on a rock,
The humble soul no terror knows;
In vain the tempest's mighty shock
Rages against its calm repose.
If Satan whispers thoughts of dread,
And strive to fill the soul with doubt,
Faith answers, "True: but Jesus bled,
And every sin is blotted out."
Though neither vine nor olive bear,
The herd be severed from the stall,
Faith sees eternal love e'en there,
And glorifies her God in all.
Though pain and sharp disease invade,
And mind and body suffer long,
Faith finds His grace sufficient aid,
And e'en in feebleness is strong.
In life, in death, while fixed on Thee,
Eternal all sufficient aid,
I would not doubt Thy wise decree,
But trust and never be afraid."
"Fixed Upon God As On A Rock"
(1844)
James Edmeston
(1791-1867)
English hymn writer
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