Second Sunday Meditation: Seventy Times Seven

"Then Peter came up to Him and said, "Lord, how many times

may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go?

As many as up to seven times?"

Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but

seventy times seven!"

Parable of the two Lenders

The Lord went on the say that the kingdom of heaven is 

like a human king who wished to settle accounts with his attendants.

When he began accounting, one was brought to him who owed

$10,000 talents, which was probably more like $10,000,000.

However, because the man could not pay his debt, his master

ordered him to be sold, along with his wife and children, and all 

 his possessions.  He also demanded that payment be made.

The man fell to his knees, begging his master for mercy and

asking him to be patient and give him more time to repay his debt,

further promising to pay everything he owed to to him.

Seeing the poor man's distress, his master was filled with 

compassion and mercy  and he decided to forgive

him and  entirely cancelled the debt.

However, after receiving his pardon, this same man went

out and found one of his fellow attendants who owed him a

hundred denari (about twenty dollars); and he grabbed him by

the throat and demanded, "I want the money you owe me!"

And this man fell down on his knees and begged him

earnestly, "Please! Give me time and I will pay you all I owe!"

But his fellow attendant was unwilling to give the man a 

chance and went and had him thrown into debtors' prison.

When his fellow attendants saw what happened, they were

greatly distressed and they went and told everything that

had happened to their master.

The master called in the man whom he had forgiven and

said to him, "You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave

and cancelled all the great debt you owed to me after you

begged me to and now you are showing none of the same

pity and mercy I had on you?

The angry master then turned the man over to the jailers

until he could pay all that he owed.

"So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you,

if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses."

Matthew 18:21-35

Believers in Messiah have no excuse not to forgive. 

Even while He was hanging on the cross in terrible agony,

Jesus reached out in love and compassion to those who were 

murdering Him and prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they

know not what they do."

In my own walk of faith I have struggled with much

bitterness and resentment stemming from situations of the past.

As a child I was mentally and emotionally abused by people in

my life that I thought should love me, that I wanted to love 

and to accept me.  Instead, I was rejected, passed over as

"the weird fat kid" of the family.  My younger siblings and

others would hear the adults insulting me and so that gave

them a green light to call me terrible names and reject me too.

.

Years later, I met the man who would become my husband.

The warning signs were all there.  He was separated from 

his wife, whom he eventually divorced, yet apparently

could not completely break away from  in his heart.

He pursued me, however, and I was flattered, but I was

also desperate.  I thought it was now or never. If I did

not marry him than no one else was likely to come along.
The "weird fat kid" would become a "weird old maid".

 I was miserable living at home with my parents.

So, I took the leap from the frying pan into the fire and married

this man only a year after he divorced his first wife.

 As a new bride, I found myself saddled with three step-children to care 

 for as well as a meddlesome ex-wife who was determine to make our

 married life miserable.  My husband could not or would not stand up

to her almost constant harassment, and, as I was to learn
  through the course of our 23 years together, could not 

 stop pining away for her and their past relationship.

  Instead, he took out his frustration at his failings and 

his rejection from her on me and our two special needs sons,

with much mental, emotional, and sometimes, physical abuse.

I was trapped in a failed marriage and seemed to have no one

to turn to, but, over the years I began to turn to God for guidance

and strength. When my husband walked out on me and our sons 

 in 2013,  it felt as if the Lord opened up the door of my prison
cell and released me from the shackles of despair and loneliness.

I was free from my unhappy marriage, and yet, I felt like a fish

out of water.  Like most abused women who often confuse love and

security with familiarity, I felt a sense of shock and disbelief at

my new set of circumstances.  I was also full of fear.

And yet, despite the fear and resentment and rejection I felt,

 I knew that God loved me and would never abandoned me or

my sons.  I also knew I had to learn to forgive my husband and 

 my family and others who hurt and rejected me in the past.

However, the one person I have found most difficult

to forgive is myself.

 I have come to realize that the only remedy for learning 

 to forgive one's self is total surrender at the foot of the cross.

To keep my focus on the selfless love of Jesus and what
He did for me at Calvary.

That's when the broken child inside the broken woman

was truly liberated from the prison of her past.  Freed

 to walk forward into the future with the Lord of glory.